On the Inevitable:

"Haven't you noticed the teenagers around here are really bad? I hope I'm never a teenager!"

On Piercings:

"When I grow up, I am going to get my ears pierced twice, and my nose pierced and my eyebrow pierced"
----
"Yeah right that's impossible to pierce your eyebrow, it would go into your brain."

On Strengths:

"I don't have art eyes, I have music eyes."

On Communication:

"What do you think you might say to our Mexican penpals when we skype?"
---
"Levante sus pantalones, por favor."
Translated: Please pull up your pants.

On Clarification:

"Is that supposed to be a coconut with three eyes?"
---
"No, it's a monster that eats lost souls, spits them back out, and then tortures them."

On The Best Excuse Ever:

"Only Matt has the antidote for my stupidity, and he won't tell me where he hid it."

On Facebook:

"My mom said not to be friends with the stars, because you never know who is on there. Like, there could be paparazzi"