On Communication:

"What do you think you might say to our Mexican penpals when we skype?"
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"Levante sus pantalones, por favor."
Translated: Please pull up your pants.

On Clarification:

"Is that supposed to be a coconut with three eyes?"
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"No, it's a monster that eats lost souls, spits them back out, and then tortures them."

On The Best Excuse Ever:

"Only Matt has the antidote for my stupidity, and he won't tell me where he hid it."

On Facebook:

"My mom said not to be friends with the stars, because you never know who is on there. Like, there could be paparazzi"

On Astrophysics:

"Why is your sun green?"
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"Because when you blast into space, you go crazy!"

On Market Values:

"Houses cost like 1,000 dollars, and no one would ever buy a painting for 1,000 dollars, let's be reasonable."

On Scale:

"So is Claes Oldenburg like a giant, like from Jack in the Beanstalk?"

On Secrets:

"So my friend, I told her a secret, and she told everyone else and so now it is everyone's secret."

On Royal Privileges:

"Table one is where the princesses get to sit."